Being Human
the story behind my upcoming single
“The earth is below me,
a fire within me,
my breath keeps me steady,
as tears flow”
-Feroza Cayetano, Human, pt ii
Perhaps I don’t need to say it, but what a year it has been. The earth is heavy.
Against this backdrop, I offer up this song, Human, pt ii. It’s the first single I’m releasing early next year to support my album, the river whispered, and it is perhaps the most soothing response to these times.
I wasn’t thinking about the global climate when I chose this song as the first single. Rather, it truly encapsulates the essence of the album and, in many ways, it serves as a taste of what’s to come.
At first I called it the “crying song” because it was born from actual tears (I cried a LOT in 2022) and my need to find meaning and purchase on solid ground in the midst of all that water. It was the first day of the group session for the Conscious Creators program facilitated by
of Mosaiceye, and I had just had a catalyzing meeting with the other creative souls in the program. This meeting inspired me to finally sit with myself and just accept all the tears.I remember feeling so overcome by feelings of connection, affirmation and the raw truth of my sadness after this meeting. But, I’m fairly used to feeling overcome. A blur of emotions rise within me like water and they need to be poured out into something, oftentimes in the form of a song, but not always. So, I closed my computer and drifted over to the tree in my backyard. I planted my feet on the ground while I did a quick search for a guitar loop and very quickly this song was birthed wholesale as I poured out the rest of those tears and alchemized them into a musical balm for my heart. Shout out to Chetna for naming that I had a lot of “grit”. Those words lodged into my heart and made it into the lyrics.
At the time, the lyrics were an acceptance of my reality: I am human, I am water, and this comes with remembering that the earth contains me even as tears flow. This is a song of healing, a song of soothing. It gently guided me back to shore.
This is now the song that makes me feel the most empowered because it’s a reminder, an affirmation, that I am made of water, contained by earth and moved by the fire within. This is not weakness.
I love, love, LOVE the elemental textures in this song! It started off accidentally, when my partner’s father tapped his spoon against his teacup so loudly that it filtered into my recording space. At the time, I was a little annoyed—“dang! I’ll have to do another take!” But when I listened back to it, I realized that the clanking sound actually worked. It gave me the idea to add similar sounds and other textures (it also hides the original offense quite well), and I started thinking of bells and wind and rain sticks.
These textures were the very last thing to be added in the production process and it was very fun and very, very stressful: too many rain sticks and then not enough rain sticks. But the final product elevates the song into a powerful spell that increases its potency. These are words that I will sing over my life as self-acknowledgement and affirmation. I weave these words into my life.
I should also acknowledge that, yes, this song is a part two, and I suppose it’s odd that I’m releasing it before part one. If anything, Human, pt ii is about picking myself up from the tears of ‘the aftermath’ and part one is about ‘the main event’, which I’ll more directly address in another project when I’m ready to pick that up again.
Songs often tell me when they’re ready to be released from my grasp, and at this stage of my creative journey, I know better than to argue (although I do question and sometimes push back (but guess who wins?)).
May you breathe easy today. Do tell me what came up for you as you listened and read :).
~Feroza